everything that i love about you
everything that is all but true in my heart
is not what i want to be
or what i want to be around
my heart aches
longs for your embrace.
but i want to push you away,
throw out the key
i am not me.
around you
things i love are left forgotten.
i feel mistakes were made.
if i say i am sorry
i dont think it matters
its not a sorry
its a way of life
what i want and what i have
or will have is not that same.
i crave that thing we have.
but it only leads to my destruction.
i am comfortable.
playable. restless.
need a new way. new life.
you wouldnt get in the way,
but you are impedeing the progress
i am comfortable. not happy.
restless. not relaxed.
it kills me inside
i feel there was a lead on.
i feel like i saw it coming
i know what they say
i know how it works
there is always more than 1 way
if it has to be this way.
than let it be.
i will be gone, there will be nothing left.
loss. sorrow. no regrets.
it cant surface until it needs to.
forgive me my love
but i must let you go.
i cant hide it no longer.
there is more
but i cant let it bother me now..


11:55 AM Tyrell: And she is online!
  I had concerns that you might have died.
 me: im at a family reunion
 Tyrell: Not really...
 me: uh why>
 Tyrell: On the dying part...
11:56 AM Well, you living in the buttcrack of hell and all...
  Never being online and all.
  You know.
  Well, it could be worse.
  You could live in Wyoming...
  Or worse yet...
11:57 AM There is only ONE thing that could get me to move to Kansas...
  And that is if someone were to give me a Viper...
12:00 PM me: you would have to kill me in colorado and then drag me to kansas in order for me to be in kansas. even then i moght object of coure being dead and all would be a problem
12:01 PM and actually i like wyoming
  i would live there
 Tyrell: Parts of Wyoming are alright.
  On the other hand, parts of Colorado are nice...
 me: and um on some completely random note...
 Tyrell: Couldn't have chosen them, have you.
12:02 PM me: hav u ever heard of penn foster university
 Tyrell: Sounds vaugely familiar...
 me: online corrospondence college
 Tyrell: Um...
  There are lots of those.
12:03 PM me: yeah but it strictly corrosponcnece and u can get AA's to
12:04 PM Tyrell: Sounds cool...
 me: yeah she used
 Tyrell: You know, I think Aspen has a real school.
  I might visit aspen occasionally.
12:06 PM me: huh?
 Tyrell: Just listing parts of Colorado that don't suck...
  I am in a mood today.
12:07 PM By the way,
  I have decided to classify "Accross The Universe" as a 45 year old female Beetles fan's wet dream.
12:08 PM me: U WEIRD
 Tyrell: LOL...
  What? You disagree with that assessment?
  It was a chick flick, and it was an excuse to sing beatles songs.
12:09 PM That's about all it was...
  Oh, and it had to pick fun at Viettnam too.
  So she had to be 45 to 50ish.
12:10 PM Anyway...
  Lunch time.
 me: well vietnam was a horrile bad mess up
 Tyrell: Sure, it was. But using it as a path to a beetle's fan's chick flick was...
12:11 PM me: the beatles were against the war
 Tyrell: Were they?
 me: uh yeah
 Tyrell: I thought they had broken up by the time the war happened...
  I wasn't there...
  So I wouldn't know.
12:12 PM me: sols dad and step mom re like beatles fanatics
  they told me all of this meaningless crap about them
12:13 PM Tyrell: My mom is trying to turn me into a beatles fan...
12:14 PM me: stay away
 Tyrell: SHe has bought me 3 of the movies (I have watched... NONE of them) and she talked me into downloading the discography.
  They sang a shit ton of music!
  Untill my MP3 player crashed, over half my collection was Beetles...
 me: yeah i know i have all ofthere cds
 Tyrell: No mere mortal could listen to all of that.
12:15 PM me: it was a torrent download a while back
 Tyrell: I'm not sure how they WROTE all of that...
 me: i also have a record..Abbey road...
  uh they didnt
  most artists didnt
  and there early stuff sucked
12:16 PM Tyrell: I say nay... If the artist doesn't write it, they arn't an artist...
  Their early stuff did suck.
  And the post drug stuff sucked too.
 me: um how many artists have written all of there songs?
 Tyrell: It was only the middle that was alright.
  Beethoven did...
  HUGE beetoven fan here...
  And mozart...
12:17 PM He was great too.
 me: some of there post drug (which actually was post-india...long story) was good
  m like recent peopl
 Tyrell: LOL...
  OK, that's a bit tougher, of course.
12:18 PM me: and honestly we dont have a whole lot of proof on betoven or mozart
 Tyrell: It was some rant this girl went on once to me... That real artists write their own stuff...
  She was a Blue Turtle Seduction fan..
 me: who?
 Tyrell: And, in case you have never heard BTS, they are from Tahoe, and they suck.
12:19 PM me: lol
 Tyrell: I actually BOUGHT 3 of their albums...
  So I have 4 albums worth of suckiness...
  They don't have a genre...
 me: do they have a myspace?
 Tyrell: They are "Mountain Bluegrass Pop"
  They didn't 2 years ago...
  They might now.
  I guess they do.
12:21 PM LOL...
  Look at their influences...
  That explains it all.
I will go eat it.
  Talk to you later.
12:22 PM LOL